ANOTHER Set-back

So, this morning I checked my e-mail before work at about 1:45 AM. I received an e-mail from Jerri at Baker Victory with yet another set-back. ICBF (Colombian Child Welfare people) need some “clarification” or for us to “amplify” something that is in my (Pam’s) psychological summary. Are you kidding me???? She seems to think that this will involve another trip to the psychologist, a letter from her stating that I’m not crazy or dangerous or anything (she didn’t exactly say that but…) and then having it apostilled and then sent back down to Colombia. Of course we have to wait for Jerri to receive the actual letter stating what needs clarification. After all we have been through and now this.

We have had so many setbacks with this adoption. And just when we think that we should go through there’s another hitch. Is someone trying to tell us something or are we just supposed to work extra hard for this. First it was the social worker who wouldn’t get back to us and held everything up for MONTHS. I’m still very bitter over this and the way we were pushed aside and lied to so many times. Then things seemed to be moving and now this. I could scream!! Did I mention that some families that hosted when we did, and started their process way after us, are either in country or have completed their adoptions?? And of course it comes before a work day when I have no access to communication to clarify all of the questions I have about the “new” time line.

I was getting really worried that we wouldn’t be home by Christmas with Angie and Camilo. This wouldn’t be such a big deal except that there is a five year old and seven year old that might not take it so well if their Mother and Father was away during the Holiday’s. All of the children deserve to be with their parents for Christmas and the fact that we are even facing this is absolutely ABSURD and UNNECESSARY! But now if we move fast on this we will be guaranteed to be in Colombia during Christmas. But what if we stall??? That is hardly fair to Angie and Camilo. This sucks and it didn’t have to be this way. I’m sad, angry and still hurt that we are now in this position because OUR social worker was avoiding and putting us off. So, again, we just hang in there and see what unfolds.

Pam

The Begining

Six days ago my life changed dramatically. I had been preparing for this day for a long time and I knew it would be pretty big but I really didn’t know how big until it happened. Six days ago I ran my first race ever, a half marathon- thirteen point one miles of pure exhilaration and immense struggle in every sense of the word. And here I am days later reflecting on my experience and wanting more. And, in fact, will run C-bus in a little over two weeks on October 18th.

When I lined up just minutes before the beginning there was this feeling of completely being in the moment if that makes sense. Here I was, I belonged at that line this is what I was meant to do. I finally found IT! It’s not that I have decided that I’m going to be some kind of professional at this but, that I have found my balance. I love my husband and family and have so much enjoyment and satisfaction with them and I have a fulfilling career. However, running is about me and about what’s in my own head and with my own physical being. The positive feed back from my husband and children doesn’t hurt either.

So with this I have decided to start writing down my feelings, idea’s, training plans and (I’m sure) disappointments as I move along the continuum. And today will be a light day; a little bit of interval training on the treadmill (yuck) since it is raining pretty steady outside.